Inside TikTok’s ‘Princess Treatment’ Trend: Romance Or Red Flag?

Would you let your partner tie your shoelaces? Or refuse to speak to a waiter at dinner so your partner can “handle everything”?

That’s the reality for Courtney Palmer, a TikTok creator better known online as “the princess treatment lady.” For months, she’s been posting about her version of the “princess treatment” trend — a viral lifestyle movement where women embrace old-school chivalry and lean into ultra-traditional femininity.

In her videos, Palmer shows moments where she steps back from basic tasks so her husband can step in. She doesn’t tie her own shoes. She doesn’t speak to restaurant staff. She believes this makes her more feminine, while allowing her husband to be more masculine.

And the internet? It has thoughts.

One comment read: “It’s giving cult or hostage situation.” Another wrote: “Refusing to speak to staff is just plain rude.” Others referenced The Handmaid’s Tale, comparing Palmer’s behavior to dystopian submission.

Yet, not everyone is hate-watching. Her clips rack up thousands of likes, and many followers seem genuinely curious. That’s because “princess treatment” ties into a larger online wave of tradwife aesthetics — a nostalgic, glossy vision of hyper-traditional gender roles that’s finding new traction on TikTok through influencers like Nara Smith and Hannah Neeleman.

What Does ‘Princess Treatment’ Really Mean?

At its core, “princess treatment” sounds harmless — think flowers, candlelit dinners, surprise date nights.

But experts warn there’s a fine line between romance and relinquishing autonomy.

“Right off the bat, I can see how the idea of ‘princess treatment’ could appeal to women who want their male partners to be more romantic and take more initiative,” says Genesis Games, LMHC, therapist and founder of Healing Connections. “There’s a difference, though, between clearly expressing reasonable expectations — like asking your partner to make dinner reservations or open doors for you — and completely making yourself small and helpless.”

For Games, Palmer’s version tips into the latter.

Blaine Anderson, dating coach and founder of Dating by Blaine, sees it differently. “They’re both adults, the dynamic sounds consensual, and she implies they both enjoy it. Her version of princess treatment sounds weird to me, but that doesn’t necessarily make it unhealthy for her or her husband.”

Still, Games cautions that rigid gender roles often harm both partners. “Deeply scripted gender roles leave no room for flexibility. Men, in particular, are left without the space to navigate feelings or show up authentically.”

Why This Trend Is So Divisive

TikTok users aren’t just debating Palmer’s shoelaces. They’re debating what “princess treatment” represents — romantic gestures vs. power imbalance.

Sabrina Zohar, a dating coach with a large TikTok following herself, doesn’t mince words. “When adult women aspire to ‘princess treatment,’ they’re essentially aspiring to powerlessness,” she says.

For Zohar, the trend reflects something deeper: burnout. “When you’re overwhelmed, the fantasy of someone else handling everything is appealing. But that’s what makes this trend so insidious. It’s packaging escapism as romance.”

Instead of empowerment, Zohar says it promotes dependency. “It’s concerning because the entire premise relies on one partner anticipating needs while the other remains passive. When does that ever happen in real life?”

Is It Just a Kink?

Many online speculate whether Palmer’s “princess treatment” is just a dominant/submissive kink repackaged for TikTok.

Games agrees some overlap exists. “If you engage in these submissive behaviors because it turns you and your partner on — fine. But living in a highly scripted, one-sided dynamic day in and day out? That’s where my concern lies.”

Anderson notes that in real kink dynamics, the submissive doesn’t call the shots. “Women demanding princess treatment are setting the tone — that’s actually a dominant posture.”

Zohar is even more blunt: “What we’re seeing isn’t kink. In kink, there’s negotiation, consent, safe words. Here, it’s unconscious recreation of unequal power structures and calling it romance.”

The Real Danger: Unrealistic Expectations

Beyond gender roles, experts warn that “princess treatment” risks setting up false dating standards.

“Many of these creators live in financial circumstances far removed from everyday reality,” Games explains. “Young women may come to believe men should pay for monthly beauty routines, cover every dinner out, or buy designer bags. That deeply skews what dating should look like.”

And it impacts men too. “They may feel they have to ‘earn’ the right to be loved,” Games says. “Some may not even try to date because they feel they can’t measure up financially.”

The result? Both men and women may miss out on healthy, compatible relationships.

How to Make Romance Work Without the Red Flags

So, is there a way to keep the charm of princess treatment without the toxicity? Experts say yes.

Games recommends reframing it:

Communicate small gestures that make you feel special.

Ask your partner what makes them feel valued too.

Keep it balanced — no one should always give while the other only receives.

“While chivalry and romantic gestures are beautiful, there’s no need to veer into extremes,” Games says. “Women can show up fully as themselves without emasculating men. That’s what we should be striving for.”

Zohar agrees: “The actual bare minimum should be mutual respect and effort. Real relationships require both people to show up, communicate their needs, and work together.”

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The princess treatment trend is flashy, controversial, and easy to debate online. But strip away the aesthetics, and the question is timeless: What do we really want from love — romance, or rescue?

TikTok may frame it as a lifestyle choice, but experts remind us that the healthiest relationships thrive not on one-sided service, but on partnership, reciprocity, and respect.

Maybe the true “princess treatment” is feeling valued — not silenced.

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