Almost every parent would feel not comfortable crying in front of their kids no matter how pressing the situation is. Parents often time feel it safer shielding children from the unpleasant parts of life. But experts have shown that there are benefits for crying in before you kids
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An Australian blogger Constance Hall, last year wrote a Facebook post that went viral about letting her children see her tears. “Oh on the weekend I watched a terribly sad documentary with my children and as tears were welling up in mine and my daughters eyes my son put his arms around us both, patting and rubbing our backs,” she posted.
“I realised that my kids are completely ok with human emotion, not traumatised from seeing their mum cry, they care and understand that this is life. There is such comfort for a child knowing that their rock can break down, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t secure. And if we can’t be their for each other why are we here at all?” Constant added.
Speaking to experts on why it’s healthy for kids to see their parents cry sometimes and ways to handle the situations, a lot were revealed.
“If a child sees a parent or caregiver cry in response to a certain event or situation, it can be beneficial because this allows kids to see that it’s OK to express your feelings,” a board-certified licensed professional counselor Tammy Lewis Wilborn said.
When a parent crys in response to a situation that upsets both they and their children, say the death of an uncle, it can help the child realize that they aren’t alone in their sadness.
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“Because children don’t have tons of lived experience, a lot of times when they’re having different thoughts or feelings, it makes them ask, ‘Is this normal? Is something wrong with me? Why am I so sad and why has this affected me in this way?’” Wilborn said.
Seeing their parents cry better explains to the child that grieve is part of life and it will help them cope with whatever it is.
Wilborn also noted that children who sees their parents cry, can get humanize and would realize adults are affected by sad things too, which is absolutely not bad.
Be certain that your child will not be okay when he see you crying, so you need to assure him that you’re going to be okay. That will help him understand better that people get broken at one point and get better at another point.
“Children will often be confused and afraid if they see their parents really upset. Afterwards, it is important to explain to the best of your ability, given your child’s age, that you had an emotional moment, but that you are OK, and that you’re going to continue to be OK,” child psychologist Jillian Roberts once told HuffPost.
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Roberts explained, “When we talk about our own emotional experiences and how we have learned to regulate them with our children, we are both teaching them a life skill and giving them permission to talk about their own experience, which is very healthy. These conversations open up that channel for your parent-child bond to strengthen.”
