Discovering that your partner may be a pathological liar can be a shocking and unsettling experience. Pathological liars are individuals who habitually lie, often without any apparent reason or benefit.
Their lies can range from small, insignificant fabrications to grandiose tales that are completely detached from reality.
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In this article, we will explore some common signs and behaviours exhibited by pathological liars, using real-life examples from different locations in South Africa.
By being aware of these red flags, you can better protect yourself and your relationship from the potentially harmful effects of being involved with a pathological liar.
1. Inconsistencies in Their Stories
One of the telltale signs of a pathological liar is the inconsistency in their stories. They may often change details or provide contradictory information when recounting events. For example, your partner may claim to have been at a specific location during a certain time, but their story doesn’t align with other evidence or witness accounts.
Real-life example from Johannesburg, South Africa:
Lebo tells her partner, Thabo, that she was at work all day on a specific date. However, Thabo later discovers through a coworker that Lebo had actually taken the day off and went on a shopping spree.
2. Exaggerated Achievements and Experiences
Pathological liars often have a need to impress others and boost their self-esteem through exaggerated achievements and experiences. They may constantly brag about their accomplishments or tell stories that seem too extraordinary to be true.
Real-life example from Cape Town, South Africa:
John claims to have climbed Mount Kilimanjaro, despite never having left the country. His friends become suspicious when they notice inconsistencies in his story, such as not being able to provide any details about the climb or the experience.
3. Lack of Remorse or Guilt
Pathological liars rarely show genuine remorse or guilt for their lies. They may continue to lie even when confronted with evidence that proves their dishonesty. This lack of remorse can be a significant indicator of their pathological lying tendencies.
Real-life example from Durban, South Africa:
Sarah’s partner, Michael, is caught lying about his whereabouts on a night out. Despite being presented with photo evidence showing him at a bar with his friends, Michael denies any involvement and refuses to apologize or admit his dishonesty.
4. Constant Need for Validation
Pathological liars often seek constant validation and attention from others. They may fabricate stories or lie about their achievements to gain admiration and approval from those around them. This need for validation can become exhausting and may strain relationships.
Real-life example from Pretoria, South Africa:
Thandi constantly brags about her high-profile job and the luxurious lifestyle she leads. However, her friends and family become suspicious when they notice inconsistencies in her stories and realise that she often seeks validation through her lies.
5. Manipulative Behaviour
Pathological liars are skilled manipulators who use their lies to control and deceive others. They may twist the truth to manipulate situations and people to their advantage. This manipulative behaviour can be emotionally and psychologically damaging to those involved with them.
A real-life example from Port Elizabeth, South Africa:
Zane lies to his partner, Busisiwe, about his financial situation to gain control over their shared finances. He manipulates her into giving him money by fabricating stories of impending financial crises, causing Busisiwe to doubt her own judgement and become financially drained.
Conclusion
Spotting a pathological liar can be challenging, as they are often skilled at deceiving others. However, by being aware of the common signs and behaviors associated with pathological lying, you can protect yourself from the potential harm that comes with being involved with a pathological liar.
Remember, it is essential to trust your instincts and seek support from friends, family, or professionals if you suspect that your partner may be a pathological liar. Open and honest communication is vital in any relationship, and addressing the issue early on can help prevent further damage.
By staying vigilant and recognising the signs, you can ensure that you don’t find yourself wondering, “Who TF did I marry?”
