It’s been a month since her son died. And though she’s bravely putting herself together, Nandia Neethling says she is still in severe pain and misses her son badly.
“I get up and light a candle by a picture of his toys. People told me to light a candle for him and I think that’s brought me some comfort.” says Neethling from Panorama, Cape Town.
Previous report revealed that Neethling’s late husband, Johann, entered the bedroom of their son Dylan in the early hours of 8 September and shot the sleeping boy to death. Before turning the gun on himself, he called the police to report the shooting and killed himself.
Neethling and Johann were no longer affectionate, Dylan spent second weekends with his father. She keeps her son’s ashes in the flat where she now lives.
“Sometimes it’s strange to think his ashes are in the cupboard. I’m still deciding what I want to do with it”
She’s now staying with Dylan’s pet hedgehog and rabbit the animals are also giving her comfort. Dylan’s dog and cat now stay with her parents in Ceres.
Neethling says “My friends and their parents are wonderful and they’re giving me a lot of support. My brother Rudi is my rock.”
Neethling finds life very difficult without her son. She’s come to realize how much Johann hated her. She was given a package with photo albums by one of his family members.
“When I opened it, many of the pictures had been cut up. He scribbled the most horrible things in all the albums. In our wedding pictures, he scratched out my face and the faces of my parents.
“In one of Dylan’s Grade 1 pictures, he cut my son out of the picture and in one of the albums he wrote that he wishes me only unhappiness in life.