Long-distance relationship (s) do sometime suck for a number of reasons, one of those can be that you’re missing out on all the important physical connection: Cuddling, holding hands, kissing and even worse sex.
It is a normal thing for one to crave intimacy when you are apart but sometimes intimacy and keeping things spicy is not very easy.
We have gathered a few tips for you to add up the spice in the relationship.
Make sure that you and you partner are on the same page.
In order to prevent your significant other from feeling insecurity and jealousy, there needs to be frank and open discussion about what constitutes ‘betrayal.’ Set aside a time with your partner and talk in detail about what you each perceive as emotional and sexual infidelity. You might be surprised how your definition of infidelity might be different than your [partner’s]. We all have different thresholds about what is ‘OK’ and what is ‘not OK’ in the relationship.
Be comfortable on talking about your feelings, needs and desires. Don’t forget to listen to your partner’s views.
Be open with your partner. Discuss the best ways to maintain intimacy with your partner. Don’t be shy to experiment with intimate activities that you both are comfortable doing. Communicate your sexual desires and be open to your partner’s desires, too.
You can start by sexting.
For beginners, sex toys or video sex might be too much. I recommend sexting because it’s a great activity to maintain intimacy while you are physically apart — not too direct for beginners, less awkward, and you can build up as you go along and get more comfortable.
Create a secret photo album where you can safely store your partner’s saucy selfies.
In the beginning of our three-year long-distance relationship, we would often find ourselves sexting to keep the sexual spark alive in between trips to see each other. This would mostly be just writing, however, there were a few cheeky pictures exchanged from time to time, which we each kept on a secret photo album app on our phones.
And *always* make sure you’re sending those sexy pics to the right recipient.
Just make sure you double-check you’re in the right phone conversation when you’re sending saucy messages or pictures! I’ve made the mistake once. You best believe I tripled-checked every message after that.
Schedule regular times to connect via phone or Skype.
It’s important to schedule those times so you and your partner know that this is the designated time to connect. Also, it’s important to continue living your own life when your significant other is away. Continue to interact with friends, remain social and carry on as you normally would. If you start to give up your life in order to preserve your ongoing relationship, it could lead to resentment and frustration.
Embrace technology, like remote-controlled sex toys.
The good news is that modern digital technology has made it easier than ever for lovers — even ones separated by an ocean, several time zones and different cultures, to stay in touch. For instance, there are new sex toys that will allow you to have an interactive sex life apart, giving you the opportunity to sync your device with your lover and providing you with an interactive experience. Additionally, you may also indulge in your most eroticized fantasies by adding an element of virtual reality to these toys.
Don’t just rely on your partner: Make sure you’re getting yourself off, too
The reality of the long-distance relationship is that, in most cases, your partner will not be able to fulfill all your sexual needs. Therefore, it is important for you to take ownership of your sexual needs. It’s important for you to learn ways to enjoy solo sex; it may help you keep your sexual desires alive and present.
When you are together, use all that anticipation you’ve accumulated to your advantage
When you don’t see each other for months at a time, things tend to get pretty spicy on their own. When you let the anticipation build for a while, it turns into a very powerful aphrodisiac and you don’t really have to think about how to keep it all fresh — you’re just busy thinking about how to get your hands on your loved one! Being physically apart feels like torture, but once you’re reunited, the mutual attraction is just through the roof.
If you want to kick off a visit by having sex right out of the gates, go for it.
When together, it’s OK to have sex immediately to reduce the nerves. Then you can enjoy the rest of your time together. While sex is important, focusing on intimacy and romance can definitely keep the long-distance relationship alive.